just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers