in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba