I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i came on her dog
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.