Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
