If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
