i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
