Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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