She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
