physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
