cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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