I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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