All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize