i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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