I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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