Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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