How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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