you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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