i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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