I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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