new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
