i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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