the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
