I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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