I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
