My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
what day is it and did you see me today?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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