Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
