You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize