I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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