I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
