party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Less talking, more tequila
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
