I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
