Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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