I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
