I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
In America we eat man semen.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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