it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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