i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
