Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize