Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
