she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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