ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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