kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
