We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
