I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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