They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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