Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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