U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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