Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
