was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
