Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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