Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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