Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
