i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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