i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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