remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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