carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
