I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
