The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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