I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
