Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
