oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
