Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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