don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
