i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?