you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*