somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
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For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is