There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird