Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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